RIP

Monday I learnt to my horror that a friend of mine killed himself. He was 25. I have no idea why, or what was going through his head. I saw him Friday night, he told me I looked pretty and he was happy to see me. When I left the club I looked for his friend to find Hrvoje to say goodnight, but apparently he was in their car.

I wish I had found the car to say goodbye, to show him somebody cared. I wish, I had done anything to touch him and help him. I liked him, we chatted about music, I was always happy to see him out. He had a lovely smile and I found him a sweet person. It is painful to type “had”. Because he is no more.

He shot himself. So final. So pointless.

    My memories of Hrvoje:

    • Meeting him at masquerade with Igor.
    • Him coming in the store and looking for Cold Meat Industries style music.
    • Seeing him dancing.
    • Making him smile by my mis-pronouncing his name.
    • Our awesome language barrier, my accent and his!
    • Talking about music.
    • Seeing him so serious, then slowly smiling.

    Goodbye Hrvoje. Right now you haunt my dreams, I wish we could have talked in life like we do now in my dreams.

    Hrvoje Grbanovic November, 8 1984- April, 18 2010

RIP

Monday I learnt to my horror that a friend of mine killed himself. He was 25. I have no idea why, or what was going through his head. I saw him Friday night, he told me I looked pretty and he was happy to see me. When I left the club I looked for his friend to find Hrvoje to say goodnight, but apparently he was in their car.

I wish I had found the car to say goodbye, to show him somebody cared. I wish, I had done anything to touch him and help him. I liked him, we chatted about music, I was always happy to see him out. He had a lovely smile and I found him a sweet person. It is painful to type “had”. Because he is no more.

He shot himself. So final. So pointless.

    My memories of Hrvoje:

    • Meeting him at masquerade with Igor.
    • Him coming in the store and looking for Cold Meat Industries style music.
    • Seeing him dancing.
    • Making him smile by my mis-pronouncing his name.
    • Our awesome language barrier, my accent and his!
    • Talking about music.
    • Seeing him so serious, then slowly smiling.

    Goodbye Hrvoje. Right now you haunt my dreams, I wish we could have talked in life like we do now in my dreams.

    Hrvoje Grbanovic November, 8 1984- April, 18 2010

Night of Shows

Wednesday night I went out :), I got a boot on and went off to the Variety Playhouse to see jj, XX and then I planned to leave and rush over to the EARL to see Shearwater.

First off getting out the house was an effort. I did not feel like going, but I showered pick something out to wear with flat boots, managed to just get my foot in a boot, and I trundled off. I realized I could not partake in the free parking in Little 5 Points as I could not walk that far, so had to squander $7 on parking! Wow! The line to get to Variety was crazy, so many people looking for tickets and trying to scam their way in, I got in no problem. I was just in time to catch jj, who I loved the first three songs, but they had very little stage presence.

I could not get near the bar for a drink, due to the incredible amount of dumb people milling about, so I waited for Greg A at the door, and watched more dumb people. I was actually prepared to leave but I knew Greg A really wanted to see XX again, even though we had just seen them 4 months or less ago at 529. Finally he got there and they started about 10 minutes later so we found a place to stand, out of the way and watched darkness lit by a few lights for 4/5 songs then I was ready to go.

Off we rushed to the EARL and once again just in time :). We found Emily, found a place to stand and then on came Shearwater who were amazing. Not sure Greg A felt that way, but I did. I think you need to love his voice. What was great was his parents were there, and his grandparents, plus it was a non-smoking show. They did all my favourite songs, and after about 40 minutes I had to sit down, my foot was killing me. We saw a few more songs, which were amazing as Thor – the drummer – played glockenspiel and alto sax.

First Song
Second Song

Then it was time for a late night burger and home.

Night of Shows

Wednesday night I went out :), I got a boot on and went off to the Variety Playhouse to see jj, XX and then I planned to leave and rush over to the EARL to see Shearwater.

First off getting out the house was an effort. I did not feel like going, but I showered pick something out to wear with flat boots, managed to just get my foot in a boot, and I trundled off. I realized I could not partake in the free parking in Little 5 Points as I could not walk that far, so had to squander $7 on parking! Wow! The line to get to Variety was crazy, so many people looking for tickets and trying to scam their way in, I got in no problem. I was just in time to catch jj, who I loved the first three songs, but they had very little stage presence.

I could not get near the bar for a drink, due to the incredible amount of dumb people milling about, so I waited for Greg A at the door, and watched more dumb people. I was actually prepared to leave but I knew Greg A really wanted to see XX again, even though we had just seen them 4 months or less ago at 529. Finally he got there and they started about 10 minutes later so we found a place to stand, out of the way and watched darkness lit by a few lights for 4/5 songs then I was ready to go.

Off we rushed to the EARL and once again just in time :). We found Emily, found a place to stand and then on came Shearwater who were amazing. Not sure Greg A felt that way, but I did. I think you need to love his voice. What was great was his parents were there, and his grandparents, plus it was a non-smoking show. They did all my favourite songs, and after about 40 minutes I had to sit down, my foot was killing me. We saw a few more songs, which were amazing as Thor – the drummer – played glockenspiel and alto sax.

First Song
Second Song

Then it was time for a late night burger and home.

Questions

Dealing with Greg tonight, always exhausts me and makes me wonder “why?” Why am I nice to him, why do I make accommodations for him, why do I listen? Do I trust him?

He wants to take the tax credit for the house, and pay me the money I would get back, and so I wouldn’t lose anything money wise, but I have doubts. What happens the next two years, how do we work it out? What if he gets audited, when would I get my money? Why should I trust him, I fought for the tax credit, why would I just roll over and give it to him? Should I just keep the peace, because it is easier? I think deep down I am tired of him getting his way. Tired of the fact I maintain the house and he got to walk away, tired of dealing with his problems, never mine always his, just tired of it all.

Questions

Dealing with Greg tonight, always exhausts me and makes me wonder “why?” Why am I nice to him, why do I make accommodations for him, why do I listen? Do I trust him?

He wants to take the tax credit for the house, and pay me the money I would get back, and so I wouldn’t lose anything money wise, but I have doubts. What happens the next two years, how do we work it out? What if he gets audited, when would I get my money? Why should I trust him, I fought for the tax credit, why would I just roll over and give it to him? Should I just keep the peace, because it is easier? I think deep down I am tired of him getting his way. Tired of the fact I maintain the house and he got to walk away, tired of dealing with his problems, never mine always his, just tired of it all.

Day 14

Finally got a shoe on comfortably yesterday and worked all day in it. Slight pain, but not awful. Today is same shoes, as I cannot wear many others due to the pressure on my foot.

All in all it was an okay weekend with splashes of surreal moments. The highlight was getting a shoe on late friday afternoon and walking around my ‘garden’ picking a daffodil and then going off to run errrands. Target, bank, and Whole Foods. Whole Foods had daffodils on sale, 30 for $5! So I bought a huge bunch and they make me smile, so cheerful and my room smells like spring.

Sadly I could not go out to this week’s parties :(. No Chamber/Jungle for Alice in Wonderland, no Spot for Ritual’s Edwardian Theme. Both were things I would like to have done, but I could not have dressed up in nice shoes, or really stood for long, and definately no dancing.

Dealt with Greg though, and boy is he angry I got the tax exemption for the house this year. Still whining about it. I want to yell at him, saying he wrote out the agreement, I paid for all the changes, all the back and forth arguements he made. The divorce cost me serious money, my savings are wiped out! And still his girl friend calls me at midnight! Pocket dialing my ass! How do you pocket dial the end of the alphabet?

Last night though, I made chicken soup from scratch and granola. Tonight is chocolate cupcakes with peanut icing. And thanks to Andreas I have butternut squash soup for dinner.

Also too practice doing and teaching myself something new I am doing the 365 project on my phone. I know I am starting a little late but it is the thought and intention that counts.

Day 14

Finally got a shoe on comfortably yesterday and worked all day in it. Slight pain, but not awful. Today is same shoes, as I cannot wear many others due to the pressure on my foot.

All in all it was an okay weekend with splashes of surreal moments. The highlight was getting a shoe on late friday afternoon and walking around my ‘garden’ picking a daffodil and then going off to run errrands. Target, bank, and Whole Foods. Whole Foods had daffodils on sale, 30 for $5! So I bought a huge bunch and they make me smile, so cheerful and my room smells like spring.

Sadly I could not go out to this week’s parties :(. No Chamber/Jungle for Alice in Wonderland, no Spot for Ritual’s Edwardian Theme. Both were things I would like to have done, but I could not have dressed up in nice shoes, or really stood for long, and definately no dancing.

Dealt with Greg though, and boy is he angry I got the tax exemption for the house this year. Still whining about it. I want to yell at him, saying he wrote out the agreement, I paid for all the changes, all the back and forth arguements he made. The divorce cost me serious money, my savings are wiped out! And still his girl friend calls me at midnight! Pocket dialing my ass! How do you pocket dial the end of the alphabet?

Last night though, I made chicken soup from scratch and granola. Tonight is chocolate cupcakes with peanut icing. And thanks to Andreas I have butternut squash soup for dinner.

Also too practice doing and teaching myself something new I am doing the 365 project on my phone. I know I am starting a little late but it is the thought and intention that counts.

Day 14

Finally got a shoe on comfortably yesterday and worked all day in it. Slight pain, but not awful. Today is same shoes, as I cannot wear many others due to the pressure on my foot.

All in all it was an okay weekend with splashes of surreal moments. The highlight was getting a shoe on late friday afternoon and walking around my ‘garden’ picking a daffodil and then going off to run errrands. Target, bank, and Whole Foods. Whole Foods had daffodils on sale, 30 for $5! So I bought a huge bunch and they make me smile, so cheerful and my room smells like spring.

Sadly I could not go out to this week’s parties :(. No Chamber/Jungle for Alice in Wonderland, no Spot for Ritual’s Edwardian Theme. Both were things I would like to have done, but I could not have dressed up in nice shoes, or really stood for long, and definately no dancing.

Dealt with Greg though, and boy is he angry I got the tax exemption for the house this year. Still whining about it. I want to yell at him, saying he wrote out the agreement, I paid for all the changes, all the back and forth arguements he made. The divorce cost me serious money, my savings are wiped out! And still his girl friend calls me at midnight! Pocket dialing my ass! How do you pocket dial the end of the alphabet?

Last night though, I made chicken soup from scratch and granola. Tonight is chocolate cupcakes with peanut icing. And thanks to Andreas I have butternut squash soup for dinner.

Also too practice doing and teaching myself something new I am doing the 365 project on my phone. I know I am starting a little late but it is the thought and intention that counts.

Today

Working through my email inbox, sometimes it is not I forget the emails, it is I don’t want to face the dealing with stuff :(.

But, sorted out my investment log-ins, emailed Gretchen for landscaping advice, texted Eric Dammit for motorcycle work, emailed about getting CD shelves built.

Now to go shopping and started Noah’s Birthday Cupcakes trial run, and make Chicken Soup.

Alice in Wonderland


Tonight I went to Alice in Wonderland in 3D and IMAX! What a spectacle! I don’t think I will be rushing off to see more IMAX in 3D. I loved the 3D, and I liked the IMAX, but together they are a little much, and very overwhelming.

The movie its self was okay, not terrible, not amazing, and I think it needed to be amazing. The costumes, the sets. the look, the feel were all amazing, but the story faded in and out. The beginning was ok, the bridge between the beginning and the fall into Wonderland was weak. The Wonderland story seemed filled with ideas, but little compassion, which is a hallmark of Tim Burton’s later films I feel. The characters are almost about to touch you and you are onto another scene. I did not like the Doormouse or the March Hare :(. Then the end, from the leaving of Wonderland to the end credits sucked!

The most common complaint I have read about the movie is the lack of sticking to the original storyline, I enjoyed the blending of the two books, as Alice Through the Looking Glass is a favourite of mine. I liked the little bits from the book – the river to denote next land, the knights and pawns. But, I felt more could have been done with it, the talking flowers were dismissed, the train never appeared, the white knight was not there, none of the chess story was incorporated.

Alice in Wonderland


Tonight I went to Alice in Wonderland in 3D and IMAX! What a spectacle! I don’t think I will be rushing off to see more IMAX in 3D. I loved the 3D, and I liked the IMAX, but together they are a little much, and very overwhelming.

The movie its self was okay, not terrible, not amazing, and I think it needed to be amazing. The costumes, the sets. the look, the feel were all amazing, but the story faded in and out. The beginning was ok, the bridge between the beginning and the fall into Wonderland was weak. The Wonderland story seemed filled with ideas, but little compassion, which is a hallmark of Tim Burton’s later films I feel. The characters are almost about to touch you and you are onto another scene. I did not like the Doormouse or the March Hare :(. Then the end, from the leaving of Wonderland to the end credits sucked!

The most common complaint I have read about the movie is the lack of sticking to the original storyline, I enjoyed the blending of the two books, as Alice Through the Looking Glass is a favourite of mine. I liked the little bits from the book – the river to denote next land, the knights and pawns. But, I felt more could have been done with it, the talking flowers were dismissed, the train never appeared, the white knight was not there, none of the chess story was incorporated.

Day 6

Friday was an adventure day! I managed to drive to the Lenox Mall and have my facial at Clarins. George-Anne used the Clarisonic on me and it felt amazing, my skin felt so nice and soft. Afterwards I limped off to the Sony Store and returned my Ebook Reader power cord, they were most unhappy and tried really hard to encourage me to buy something. I successfully resisted and limped back to my car. Stopped on the way home at Whole Foods and met Matthew for lunch. I eventually meandered home and passed out on the couch for several hours as my foot was killing me.

That night we met up with Greg A and his new g/f Gwen for dinner at Ormsby a new bar in the Westside, the food was pretty good, the beer list amazing, and no smoking inside, it was just really loud. Home and to bed. I caved in to the pain and took my second Loratab of the day :(.

Next morning I felt a lot better and managed to stand for a shower, and then make a meal plan for the week:mealplan I was pretty proud of actually getting it all to work and think it all out. So then off to grocery shop and pick up mail and run some small errands. Thankfully Matthew drove :). After all was done we ended up at Carroll Street Cafe and then Anne’s house for Apples to Apples and Rock band.

Today was Spring Forward Day and work. Foot was feeling a little better, but still no putting on a shoe, so strapped up and in funny medical shoe off to work I went. The stairs at work were scary, but I did it and sat a lot of the day pricing records and running register. By six though I was pretty tired, so home for dinner: Linguine with Asparagus and Pine Nuts, and then I made Orange, Banana Crepes for dessert.

Now Matthew is trying out his culinary skills by making scones – dried cherry orange – and I am getting ready for sleep.

Day 6

Friday was an adventure day! I managed to drive to the Lenox Mall and have my facial at Clarins. George-Anne used the Clarisonic on me and it felt amazing, my skin felt so nice and soft. Afterwards I limped off to the Sony Store and returned my Ebook Reader power cord, they were most unhappy and tried really hard to encourage me to buy something. I successfully resisted and limped back to my car. Stopped on the way home at Whole Foods and met Matthew for lunch. I eventually meandered home and passed out on the couch for several hours as my foot was killing me.

That night we met up with Greg A and his new g/f Gwen for dinner at Ormsby a new bar in the Westside, the food was pretty good, the beer list amazing, and no smoking inside, it was just really loud. Home and to bed. I caved in to the pain and took my second Loratab of the day :(.

Next morning I felt a lot better and managed to stand for a shower, and then make a meal plan for the week:mealplan I was pretty proud of actually getting it all to work and think it all out. So then off to grocery shop and pick up mail and run some small errands. Thankfully Matthew drove :). After all was done we ended up at Carroll Street Cafe and then Anne’s house for Apples to Apples and Rock band.

Today was Spring Forward Day and work. Foot was feeling a little better, but still no putting on a shoe, so strapped up and in funny medical shoe off to work I went. The stairs at work were scary, but I did it and sat a lot of the day pricing records and running register. By six though I was pretty tired, so home for dinner: Linguine with Asparagus and Pine Nuts, and then I made Orange, Banana Crepes for dessert.

Now Matthew is trying out his culinary skills by making scones – dried cherry orange – and I am getting ready for sleep.