Trying…

Sleeping the last few nights has been rough. It was easier to deal with Hana-Cat dying as I had, had time to prepare, I knew he was sick, I knew he would not get better. Badtz was so sudden it has blindsided me. One visit to the vet and then next time he was gone.

I had hoped the infusion of fluids and painkillers Tuesday night would help him, but they didn’t he just seemed tireder and sicker. I feel like I did after PandiCat’s death, lost and just shocked. These were my babies. I never wanted children, but I always wanted cats. Seems odd to type that out. I like people’s kids, I love my nephews, I just never wanted them for myself, I have never had my clock tick, or whatever. But cats, oh I wanted them, from the very beginning.

I have taken yesterday and today off work, I really am not doing a good job in concentrating, and even yesterday I tried to run a few minor errands and I just screwed them up, today I wrote stuff down so I don’t forget, but still my brain feels foggy. I don’t want to read or do anything. This is when I wish I watched TV, and I could lose myself in something for a few hours, but I still can’t.

I miss my kitty so bad. My house feels so empty, so barren. It is weird, so quiet and everything I do is on my own, no little faces watching me, sighing as they lay next to me, getting on the table, sitting on my papers, getting on couch, meowing when I am in the shower and closed the door. And worse of all no one to greet me when I get home, it feel so odd opening the door and no kitty waiting.

Trying… was originally published on Dreaming and Doing

Trying…

Sleeping the last few nights has been rough. It was easier to deal with Hana-Cat dying as I had, had time to prepare, I knew he was sick, I knew he would not get better. Badtz was so sudden it has blindsided me. One visit to the vet and then next time he was gone.

I had hoped the infusion of fluids and painkillers Tuesday night would help him, but they didn’t he just seemed tireder and sicker. I feel like I did after PandiCat’s death, lost and just shocked. These were my babies. I never wanted children, but I always wanted cats. Seems odd to type that out. I like people’s kids, I love my nephews, I just never wanted them for myself, I have never had my clock tick, or whatever. But cats, oh I wanted them, from the very beginning.

I have taken yesterday and today off work, I really am not doing a good job in concentrating, and even yesterday I tried to run a few minor errands and I just screwed them up, today I wrote stuff down so I don’t forget, but still my brain feels foggy. I don’t want to read or do anything. This is when I wish I watched TV, and I could lose myself in something for a few hours, but I still can’t.

I miss my kitty so bad. My house feels so empty, so barren. It is weird, so quiet and everything I do is on my own, no little faces watching me, sighing as they lay next to me, getting on the table, sitting on my papers, getting on couch, meowing when I am in the shower and closed the door. And worse of all no one to greet me when I get home, it feel so odd opening the door and no kitty waiting.

Cat

So in the last few days I have noticed Badtzi peeing on the floor, which is unusual for him, he is a fastidious kitty who does not make a mess, and then I noticed he was not eating, just drinking lots of water and licking up the gravy on his food. None of this boded well.

I had Badtz and Hana from when they were 7 weeks old, the two brothers to my sister’s two – Chloe and Sabrina. There were five in the litter and we got four of them. Badtz was my pick at first and then I got Hana as I was worried he would be lonely. I named them after Badtz Maru and Hana Maru both charecters from Hello Kitty. When I got the extra kitty I named him after their other friend Pandaba, so I had a PandiCat too.

I loved my kitties all the same, though I had a soft spot in my heart for Badtz, he was always so disdainful of certain things, so smart and so pretty, my little black siamese kitty.

Yesterday I took him to the vet, the peeing and not eating was worrying me. We were there a good while. It was funny over the years Badtz has always wanted to get in the carrier and go to the vet, he never was sick, and now was his chance. He was happy until the car moved and then he siamese howled the whole way there and back. And pooped in the carrier, and peed, and threw up! Yep, great car cat.

Anyway we were at the vet about an hour and a bit, lots of test: blood-work, urinalysis, heart listening, blood pressure – via his tail, not happy, and then injection of fluid, and injection to make him less nauseous and hungry. The vet also tried giving him food, but he wouldn’t eat, I knew he wouldn’t.

Home last night and all Badtz did was sleep, yowl, and pee on the floor.:(, Today I got the results of the tests and he has Chronic Renal Failure, and he has arthritis, and so I am making the decision to put him to sleep. This is so hard. I want to keep him around, but him being in pain is my worst nightmare, he can’t jump, he won’t sleep in his high bed, he pees on the floor and then cries as he hates doing it. He doesn’t want to eat, but he has never eaten much, he is old and tired, and I think he misses his brother more than I can imagine.

Badtz on elephant

Badtz on elephant

Cat was originally published on Dreaming and Doing

Cat

So in the last few days I have noticed Badtzi peeing on the floor, which is unusual for him, he is a fastidious kitty who does not make a mess, and then I noticed he was not eating, just drinking lots of water and licking up the gravy on his food. None of this boded well.

I had Badtz and Hana from when they were 7 weeks old, the two brothers to my sister’s two – Chloe and Sabrina. There were five in the litter and we got four of them. Badtz was my pick at first and then I got Hana as I was worried he would be lonely. I named them after Badtz Maru and Hana Maru both charecters from Hello Kitty. When I got the extra kitty I named him after their other friend Pandaba, so I had a PandiCat too.

I loved my kitties all the same, though I had a soft spot in my heart for Badtz, he was always so disdainful of certain things, so smart and so pretty, my little black siamese kitty.

Yesterday I took him to the vet, the peeing and not eating was worrying me. We were there a good while. It was funny over the years Badtz has always wanted to get in the carrier and go to the vet, he never was sick, and now was his chance. He was happy until the car moved and then he siamese howled the whole way there and back. And pooped in the carrier, and peed, and threw up! Yep, great car cat.

Anyway we were at the vet about an hour and a bit, lots of test: blood-work, urinalysis, heart listening, blood pressure – via his tail, not happy, and then injection of fluid, and injection to make him less nauseous and hungry. The vet also tried giving him food, but he wouldn’t eat, I knew he wouldn’t.

Home last night and all Badtz did was sleep, yowl, and pee on the floor.:(, Today I got the results of the tests and he has Chronic Renal Failure, and he has arthritis, and so I am making the decision to put him to sleep. This is so hard. I want to keep him around, but him being in pain is my worst nightmare, he can’t jump, he won’t sleep in his high bed, he pees on the floor and then cries as he hates doing it. He doesn’t want to eat, but he has never eaten much, he is old and tired, and I think he misses his brother more than I can imagine.

Badtz on elephant
Badtz on elephant