Month: September 2021

St Louis Botanical Gardens

Went to Missouri Botanical Garden on Saturday and spent the day with these cuties map reading us around. #stlouisbotanicalgardens #origamiinthegarden #sqiggles #flowers (at Missouri Botanical Garden)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CUV7bJasX1i/?utm_medium=tumblr

onward – we are all made of stars

“My heart is full
My heart is wide
The saddest songs are played
On the strings of my heart”

  • Harbour by Moby sung by Sinead O’Conner (on 18)

Andreas and I must have listened to this album by Moby a million times, saw him twice or more and sung along. But, listening to it today I am struck about how sad the lyrics are and the arrangements, the strings just drip heartbreak. I truly loved Andreas, with all my heart, we were not meant to be for numerous reasons, but I wanted him to be happy. I think that is how you know you love someone with a pure heart. You don’t want to own them, you know you cannot be together and although you love them deeply you let them go and want them to find love and happiness.

Love grows and changes over the years, deepens or lessens, shifts and flows. My greatest weakness is always been the same, I love. It hurts to love, it hurts to be open, it hurts to see people as they are and accept them. Flaws, strengths, idiosyncrasies, weaknesses, humans are inherently flawed but contain lifetimes of beauty.

It has been a rough few weeks. Pandemic fatigue, medical issues, burnout, more deaths in my sphere. I wish I had the ability to hug all my friends going through pain. I wish I had the money to throw at their problems. I wish for all of us to be able to sit and laugh and cry and just be.

onward – we are all made of stars was originally published on Dreaming and Doing

RIP Andreas

Oh Andreas , I am going to miss you so much. The world is an emptier place without you. We shared so much, good, bad and in between.

We did so much! From going to Disney World so I could ride the tea cups, to shows all over. Das House, and all our silliness, in someways we were all learning to be adults. We drove to Rhode Island to see a noise show, Florida to see Funker Vogt, North Carolina to see Einstürzende Neubauten. We went to so many shows. We went to raves, dingy clubs, outdoor shows, shows at a horse park even!

We knew each other from 1996, your jittery self looking for Legendary Pink Dots stuff in @waxnfacts We stayed friends, till we dated and then after that stayed friends. I remember so clearly the night you met Jessica and how on cloud 9 you were.

We kept up our traditions, trivia night, hanging out. You correcting my pronunciation of espresso (I say eXpresso), I watched all of Twins Peaks with you guys. We all went on vacation together. The annual pumpkin carving, corn mazes and my first taste of s’mores. The birth of your adorable children. So many wonderful memories.

I loved you so dearly, my dearest friend I am going to miss you with all my heart.

Please Rest at Peace,

“Weeping like the ghost of winter, we watch our tears
Kiss ash and turn to steam. We walk on hot coals
Where a stream meandered. Tarred and tanned. We
Flex and count the tumours on our hands–spreading
Swiftly now. For this, we waited just a lifetime
Sun blessed mirror shaded mad dogs. Blow a kiss we’ll
All fall over. Hunting the oasis but there’s only cola-
Sensurround. A technicolour thrill … it costs a fortune
So it must be real. For just a little sip, we’ll
Keep waiting (just a lifetime.)
And some of us work underground. We dug a hole and
Settled down. We waited for the gentle sound of steady
Rain to soak the ground and raattle on our ventilator
Guess the time we sat there waiting. Yes, you
Guessed! We waited just a lifetime
And dragons walked the earth again; parrafin was free
A fire-eater went insane and torched the final tree
And one fine say the planet crumbled, just cos
Someone sneezed. For this, we waited just a lifetime”
– LPD – Just a Lifetime

https://www.instagram.com/p/CTqWFW1JCEK/?utm_medium=tumblr

Brief encapsulation of my day.

Got my turntable and speakers set up. Took a while to get all the pieces 😊. But sounds great.

Stopped by art opening @hashimotocontemporary and got a @feliciachiao sketchbook! Which she kindly signed for me! Loved the art maybe later I can pick up a print 😀😀

And finally a small walk today through downtown deserted SF and blue blue sky.

#directdriveturntable #clout #happy #sculpture #sf #longweekend (at San Francisco, California)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CTgOPMhnOYF/?utm_medium=tumblr

Turntable update

Brief encapsulation of my day.

Got my turntable and speakers set up. Took a while to get all the pieces 😊. But sounds great.

Stopped by art opening @hashimotocontemporary and got a @feliciachiao sketchbook! Which she kindly signed for me! Loved the art maybe later I can pick up a print 😀😀

And finally a small walk today through downtown deserted SF and blue blue sky.

#directdriveturntable #clout #happy #sculpture #sf #longweekend (at San Francisco, California)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CTgOPMhnOYF/?utm_medium=tumblr